BATTLING "RETURN ANXIETY" by RSO
Read this. Really.
The pandemic has been scary. Like, really scary. What if theatre never comes back? What if there are no jobs for me? What if I forgot how to do what I love?
But now with vaccinations increasing, with shows beginning to seriously discuss reopening, with producers looking for new shows to produce and open, there's a new kind of fear lurking around the corner. Some of you have already named it.
Before we were afraid theatre was gone... but now many of us are beginning to fear the return of theatre. What if theatre resumes—and I'm not ready?! What if there ARE jobs for me—and once again I can't get seen? What if I remember all my training, and I STILL don't get a callback?
"Return anxiety" is real, and if hasn't already affected you, it may, soon. We want to help you get past that.
Singing in front of living people again feels crazy-making, intensely emotional, terrifying and gratifying—all at once. How are you supposed to look calm and natural with all that bubbling up?
We always say that your go-to audition songs should feel like a "nice-to-meet-you" ... but when you want to scream, cry, thank the lord and curse the world all at once—it's not a, uh, great lewk for you. But there's a solution.
In our in-person classes, almost every student who comes in expresses a lot of concern their first day. They don't feel like themselves, singing feels good yet unfamiliar. And when of course they're not met with "wow you're better than ever, it's like there was no pandemic!" they spiral, fearing they've taken 100 steps back... when they already felt like there were 10,000 steps still to go before COVID.
Yet, after a few classes, even the most anxious students found that, far faster than they thought, they were feel better again and after 2 or 3 classes, and could find their footing. Amazing how the body and mind can adapt when you want it badly enough.
We all have a certain "threshold" of anxiety.
Okay this is my belief, based on my own experiences and watching other people. First off, it's important to remember that fear is ESSENTIAL to staying alive. Anxiety is a form of awareness, as uncomfortable as it can be. But anxiety can be good ... it reminds us to sleep more, to work harder, to give thought to our futures, and to always weigh our comfort against our ambitions. So every human body has a certain capacity for anxiety biologically. Some people would say that about 10-20% of the time, they're worried or anxious, and that feels fine by them. That's probably a "safe/normal" amount of anxiety.
But ... then there's the rest of us, who find our lives filled with something like 40-70% anxiety, and it feels noticeable and difficult.
On one hand, we have to acknowledge that some of our anxiety is good. It makes us human. It helps us get better. But the rest of it, we have to find a way to take the edge off.
Part of decreasing unnecessary anxiety is transferring our "fear of the unknown" into "focus on the path ahead." Only by doing and FACING the unknown can we truly know how much work is ahead, and only then can we actually start to DO the work and IMPROVE OUR LIVES.
Stop trying to get back to the person you were...
Many people are focused on who they were before the pandemic. Not even because they thought who they were was particularly perfect, but because they haven't considered that maybe this pandemic hasn't only TAKEN something from them... maybe the pandemic has GIVEN them something, too.
I mean: did you ever think you could brave the facts of the last year? Did you ever think you'd come out of this alive?
...Start processing the person you're becoming.
Perspective. Clarity. Strength. These are things every single one of us has more of.
We haven't been maintaining false friendships with business associates, but rather we've gotten impossibly close to the core group of people who actually matter and more importantly, who actually care.
For many people, the pandemic made an underline on what we really want to be doing with our lives. For MANY people in theatre, the answer was clear: they didn't want to be doing theatre anymore.
But if you're reading this, you probably do, and probably know, more than ever, that it's ALL you want to be doing.
And instead of thinking that "when theater comes back there will be fewer jobs" consider that a lot of your half-hearted competition may have moved on to other things. Students in school who'd be pouring into the city have decided to wait.
But you are here, or are coming back soon. Consider that your strength and perseverance will pay off, and now could be your time.
It will take time.
"Arriving" at You Version X is going to take time. We'll be unpacking and processing the experience of this pandemic for years to come. But every day, the soft, warm clay of us will be hardening. Our new selves are emerging, little by little.
We're here to help you step out of this pandemic, today.
We are resuming with more in-person classes (while of course continuing online—which isn't going anywhere!). Most instructors are vaccinated and we understand most students are, too. We want to help you face your fears, get your feet on the ground, and return to the work. And then, soon enough, book your next (or even first) gig.
We're ready. Are you?
Our next session, in-person and online, begins April 12. We'd love to see you in class!
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