BEING PRESENT IN YOUR QUARAN-TIME by Jacqui Sirois
(Pressures of Productivity)
These shelter in place days are starting to blend together and I find myself barely remembering what I even did just two days ago. With every day that goes by, I ask myself “what did I really do today?” At first, I was excited by the idea of being gifted all of this time, something that we as artists could only wish for more of a month ago. Now, the novelty of being at home all the time has worn off and we have to find a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
My productivity in my first week at home was pretty stellar. I was waking up by 7am (a remnant of my old life where I would wake up at dawn to go to work), doing yoga first thing in the morning, meditating, going for hour-long socially distant walks, reading, writing, and feeling like I could take on anything that came my way. When that first weekend rolled around, I decided to give myself a break and loosen up a bit, but that’s when everything started to unravel. That weekend lasted about ten days. I couldn’t get myself out of bed before 9, I would spend hours scrolling through my phone, and had no desire to create anything. These were hard days. I was beating myself up for being what I thought was lazy when really, I think it was greif. Life as I knew was pulled out from under me and it took my mind some time to catch up a bit and take in the severity and reality of it all. Once I eventually came around, lessened my doses of news intake, let myself feel the feelings and made sure I was physically healthy, I was able to find a better balance of prioritizing taking care of my mind, body and spirit.With all the uncertainty of what we’re going through right now, your life can change in an instant, making impossible to plan for anything. As someone who hasn’t touched their color-coded agenda in weeks, these days need to be filled with something that would make me feel fulfilled and like I can keep going, despite the fear and anxiety looming all around me. Despite the fact that this virus is limiting how we are able to live, I do have control over this present moment and how I spend my time. Although we are caught in this flurry of uncertainty, what we know for certain and what we can control is what’s right in front of us, this present moment. This is all a one day at a time situation, so there’s no better place to be than the present.
On one hand, It seems that, as artists, we always wish we had more time. Whether that’s time to create, to rest, to read, to watch, to practice, to learn -- we need those hours in the day and also the energy to devote to it. By being confined to your home and eliminating my survival job from the equation of my day to day, I finally have both the time and energy to cross some things off that list.
That said, now that you have all this time at your disposal, this nagging voice from inside is saying “You wanted time? Here you go! Go make a masterpiece!” and there’s this pressure to “make the most” of this time. How many times have you heard about Shakespeare writing King Lear while in isolation from the plague? Sure, he wrote a master work, but he also didn’t have a functioning toilet, electricity, the internet, or TikTok, so everyone needs to take a breath and let that go because that ain’t it chief. It’s so easy to get bogged down by the messaging of toxic productivity during what is literally a global pandemic. There’s no “making the most of this”, there’s simply taking care of ourselves and those we love.
With all that in mind, I know what I need to to strike a balance of keeping myself motivated and productive while also staying healthy, physically and mentally. I want to share things that have been helpful for me on the days where I am feeling like I’m having a great day and when I’m not feeling so hot. I want to preface by saying that our needs are all as unique as we are, so while these are all things that work for me, simply take what you need.
1 - GO WITH THE FLOW
When I wake up in the morning, I can already tell if it’s going to be a good day or a bad day just by listening to my body. It’s not a decision I make, it’s just where I’m at when I roll out of bed. A good day is when I spring up out of bed and dive right into the things I hope to accomplish that day. A bad is when I end up watching TV all morning and don’t get dressed until noon, at the earliest. Tune into your body, whatever that means for you. There is no right way to do this except for simply being kind to yourself and to what you feel your body needs. Every day is a new mountain so climb it the way that’s most safe and comfortable for you. We need to make sure we are being kind to ourselves. This time is unprecedented so if you find yourself overcome with anxiety or despair, put yourself first and take care. Some days you need to cross off a bunch of chores off your list and other days you need to just veg out and watch Fleabag for the ninth time. It’s okay. Don’t beat yourself up if you stray from your schedule. Stay away from that toxic productivity mentality and remember that the top priority right now is taking this day by day and doing what you need to take care of you.
2 - A SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY
If I’m feeling like there’s a lot I need to accomplish one day, creating a plan for my day. I don’t do this every day, but I find it particularly helpful on days that feel overwhelming with things that need to get done.
I personally like to write it out on a legal pad and check things off as I do them because it feels so good. Then, I’ll write in the hours that I want to work in, giving myself a set amount of hours that I’m going to devote to my “work day”. For me, these hours are usually 8am-6pm with after 6 being my free time to use as I please (which has been to binge Call The Midwife with my roommate and drinking Nor’Easter cocktails). The first thing I’ll put in is anything that’s already set for that day (digital classes, meetings, workouts, etc.) and then I’ll work the rest of my day around those, being as specific as you need (1 hr of reading, 45 minute walk, bake the Alison Roman Lemon Turmeric Tea Cake).
Alison Roman’s Lemony Turmeric Tea Cake recipe (photo courtesy of The New York Times.)
I have found that “RSO’s Guidelines for a Successful Day of Productivity” as a jumping off point (I don’t think he calls it that but I wouldn’t be mad if he ended up using it), is a great way to shape my day:
Give yourself enough time to get going with your Morning Routine, which is using the 45 minutes to an hour after you wake up to get yourself ready for the day (this includes eating breakfast, coffee, shower, journaling, meditation, dog-walking. Whatever you need to get your day started on the right foot), doing your Fast First, an hour of quick tasks you can get done within a minute or two, planning day around your Golden Hours (total of about five hours of your day, broken into 30-60 minute chunks, to fill with the tasks that require the most of your brain. This time could be spent not only creating things but also absorbing content as well), Taking Care of Business time to do the things that need a little less brain power (such as sending emails, making phone calls, running errands) and then finally Fun Stuff (watching Tiger King, playing board games with those you’re isolating with, whatever is fun for you). Also, if you’re someone who needs to schedule time to eat, then put it in there!
Here’s what last Wednesday looked like:
An example of Jacqui’s itinerary for a day in self-isolation.
Making sure I give myself time to get outside and or do things that take my mind elsewhere and break up the work is important for me. Moving my body by taking a social-distanced stroll is a-ok right now, I highly recommend it (but of course, use your discretion). A change of scenery can do wonders for your mood and that fresh air feels so good! Also, if you’re worried about not having a mask, a bandana gets the job done (just pretend you’re a bandit for 30 minutes and get some fresh air). If you’re not wanting to go outside, there are so many options for working out at home (I’ve really enjoyed the ModoYogaNYC on Instagram Live. Also, scroll down for some awesome resources Alden shared!). The great thing about making this schedule is that it can change! If something comes up, swap something out for it. If you don’t feel like doing it, don’t do it. You know yourself and what you need, so schedule your time the way you want.
“How to Make a Pleated Face Mask” from a handkerchief or bandana, care of YouTube.
3 - NO STREAMING DURING DAYLIGHT
A couple years ago, I was in a situation where I was unemployed for two long months in the summertime. I felt similarly to how I do now, defeated, uncertain about the future and financially strapped. I felt confined to my home and pretty depressed, so naturally all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and watch the entire Netflix catalogue. After allowing myself time to wallow in self-pity, I was annoyed by feeling sluggish, so one day I made a rule for myself that I wasn’t allowed to watch Netflix while the sun was up since that Next Episode button is a sneaky little bugger that kept me glued to my computer and subsequently my bed. This rule may very well have saved my spirit and mental health. It forced me to spend my days doing other things like cleaning up, reading, working out, listening to music, cooking or baking -- basically doing anything that wasn’t watching TV. Finally, once the sun set, I had something to look forward to and could pace myself through seasons of shows.
4 - STAY CONNECTED
In my old life, I was a texter pretty exclusively. The only person I would really talk to on the phone regularly was my mom. These days, I still talk to my mom on the phone (weird now because I’m calling from her basement and not New York) but I’m talking to so many people on the phone and, let me tell you, it’s really fun! No wonder why teens in the 90’s needed their own phone lines!
But really, I’ve called former co-workers that I used to see every day, family that I haven’t ever called on the phone before and friends that I’ve wanted to catch up with for a long time and now that our lives have slowed down, we can. I also downloaded the app Marco Polo which is a great way to get some face time with people in your life who may not be able to hop on an actual lengthy chat with you but still feels personal. I will also shamelessly plug our Independent Study class, which has been such a saving grace during all this because not only does it help me realize what day of the week it is, but it also keeps me connected to an awesome group of storytellers who care so deeply about sharing and supporting each other’s work and that inspires me to keep chipping away at my own work.
So, what do we do with our Quaran-time? These are hard times and everyone copes differently so whatever you need to be your best you is the best use of your time. The only thing that is certain right now is what’s right in front of us. As actors, our job is to be in the moment and be present so what better way than to use what we know and be present because, like the characters we play, that’s all we know. We don’t know what next week holds, we don’t even know what tomorrow holds. All you can do is move moment to moment with what’s right in front of you and be the best possible you.
JACQUI SIROIS is a performer, director, writer and dramaturg proudly from Toronto, ON and is currently based in Brooklyn, NY. Jacqui is a graduate (and severely in debt) from Queen’s University (B.A) and NYU (M.M.) and she has also been a life-long musical theatre connoisseur so make sure she’s on your team for Broadway trivia. Outside of the theatre, her interests include cooking & baking, reading, reality TV, and exploring the city on foot. Find her at jacquisirois.com @jacquisirois